Why Teaching Girls to Negotiate Is Imperative For Gender Equity

In a world increasingly shaped by conflict—across politics, generations, classrooms, and even dinner tables—the ability to navigate disagreement and find common ground is no longer optional. It is essential. At Nurturing Minds and SEGA, we believe negotiation is not just a skill but a fundamental right that every girl must hold, especially young girls in Tanzania whose voices have historically gone unheard. For them, negotiation isn't just about striking a deal—it’s about asserting their worth, advocating for their education, and shaping their future.

The Gender Gap in Negotiation Starts Early

A 2025 study of boys and girls by a team of psychology researchers revealed that gender dynamics around negotiation start shockingly early. The study looked at the differences in attitudes towards negotiation in children, performing a number of experiments with more than 400 children between the ages of six and nine. One of the experiments had the children participate in a game in which they had to quickly recognize pictures on a screen. Regardless of how they performed, they would be rewarded with animal photos. After the game, the kids were told to negotiate how many pictures of animals they deserved.

The researchers found that boys asked for significantly higher bonuses—more pictures—than girls, even when their performance in the game was nearly identical. In fact, boys as young as six already tended to overestimate their abilities and advocate for greater rewards. On average, they were 65% more likely than girls to ask for more, showing a striking early confidence gap. “Our findings suggest that boys tend to overestimate their abilities compared to girls—and relative to their actual performance,” said Sophie Arnold, a New York University doctoral student and lead author of the study.

These early patterns mirror the disparities we see later in life, from the classroom to the boardroom to the bargaining table. According to research from Harvard’s Program on Negotiation, men tend to achieve better economic results in negotiations than women—not due to lack of skill or intelligence, but because of the social conditioning that encourages boys to be bold and girls to be accommodating.

This mismatch matters. When young girls internalize the idea that asking for more is “pushy” or “selfish,” they are less likely to negotiate for fair wages, educational opportunities, or leadership roles later in life. Closing this gap begins not in adulthood—but in the classroom, at home, and in safe spaces where girls are encouraged to ask, listen, and lead.

SEGA and Harvard: Building a Culture of Negotiation

At the SEGA School in Morogoro, Tanzania, we’ve taken this research to heart. In partnership with the Harvard Negotiation and Mediation Clinical Program (HNMCP), SEGA is building a negotiation curriculum from the ground up—one that reflects the cultural realities, challenges, and aspirations of Tanzanian girls.

Launched in Spring 2024, the project is led by Harvard Law students under the mentorship of Professor Rachel Viscomi. Through interviews, focus groups, and weekly consultations with SEGA teachers, the team has designed role plays and lessons that resonate with students’ day-to-day experiences.

“We designed role plays that reflect realistic scenarios students might encounter,” said Dominic Nyaga, one of the project leads. “We created names, locations, and conflicts that made the curriculum relatable. This wasn’t about teaching negotiation in theory—it was about equipping girls with skills to use in their every day lives.”

Dominic emphasized that cultural responsiveness was key. “At first, I thought we’d apply traditional negotiation models,” he reflected. “But we quickly learned that understanding local context was non-negotiable. The language of negotiation must reflect the values, power dynamics, and lived experiences of the people it serves.”

Designing for Depth, Age, and Growth

Sara Nicholson, another Harvard student leading the project, noted how the curriculum evolved to meet the diverse developmental needs of SEGA students. “In Spring 2024, when the first module was piloted with Form 3, the girls were hungry for more advanced skills,” Sara said. “They wanted to know how to handle tough negotiators, when to walk away, and how to help others negotiate.”

That feedback reshaped the approach. Now, fundamental skills are introduced in Form 1, tested in Form 2 through familiar conflicts, and refined in Form 3 with more complex scenarios. Sara’s design considerations included English proficiency levels, classroom learning styles, and the existing Life Skills curriculum already in place at SEGA.

Why This Work Matters

These skills aren’t just for the future—they’re for right now. Whether it’s speaking up in the classroom, navigating family expectations, or standing firm in their values, SEGA students are learning how to advocate for themselves with clarity and compassion.

For Dominic and Sara, designing SEGA’s negotiation curriculum was never just about education. It was about shifting power.

“Negotiation helps girls challenge the cultural biases and power imbalances they face,” Dominic explained. “It gives them a framework for pursuing their goals with confidence.”

“For me,” Sara shared, “interest-based negotiation begins with the simple act of asking why. In the midst of conflict, that one question can uncover perspectives you didn’t know existed. It opens the door to empathy, deeper understanding, and creative solutions. This kind of problem-solving empowers even young girls to recognize what others need while staying grounded in their own goals. It teaches them how to create value and assert themselves. Sometimes, that leads to a win-win. Other times, it helps them realize when to walk away—because not every agreement serves their best interests. The earlier girls learn to navigate those choices, the more confidently they can shape their own paths.”

In a world increasingly polarized and riddled with conflict, equipping SEGA girls with negotiation skills gives them the confidence and tools not only to lead—but to actively shape the course of their own lives. That’s why SEGA is embedding negotiation into its core Life Skills curriculum, with a vision for long-term sustainability: because when girls are equipped to ask for what they need, they’re ready to lead.

A Path Forward

At Nurturing Minds, we’re proud to support this pioneering work. But we also know this is just the beginning.

As we continue to partner with Harvard and grow SEGA’s capacity, we envision a future where negotiation is not an “extra”—but an essential part of every girl’s education. We imagine a world where girls are equipped not only with facts and figures, but with the confidence, curiosity, and clarity to stand up for themselves and build a better future.

Because when girls learn to negotiate, they play a critical role in shaping their own futures.